[SS] “Did you guys ever collect baseball cards as a kid?” Stan the Stat asked, seemingly out of context.
[RR] “Sure. I tried to collect every single Topps card issued one year, but it was pretty hopeless. I had seven cards of Kurt Bevacqua1 winning the bubble gum blowing contest2 but was still missing my favorite player, Carlton Fisk”, Roderick the Rock replied. “Just a little frustrating.”
[SS] “Topps started selling complete sets in 1982,3 which took all the fun out of it.”
[LL] “No rock-hard sticks of bubble gum in the sets though”, Leroy the Lion noted sadly.
[SS] “I collected baseball, basketball, football, and even hockey cards.”
[RR] “I’m sure I still have my Charlie’s Angel’s trading cards in a shoebox covered with Wacky Packs in the attic somewhere.”
[SS] “Well, a few years ago, I started collecting hole card nicknames, and I thought I finally had the first complete set ever assembled, but it turns out that Wikipedia beat me to it.”
All 91 Starting Hold ‘Em Hands With Nicknames4
- AA – Pocket Rockets; Bullets; American Airlines; Alan Alda {“M*A*S*H” actor}; Batteries
- AK – Big Slick {“Big Slick in a Suit” if suited}; Santa Barbara {site of a famous oil slick in 1969}; Anna Kournikova {“looks great but never wins” according to Vince Van Patten}
- AQ – Big Chick; Walking Back to Houston; Doyle Brunson {ironic name as he prefers not to play it}; Antony & Cleopatra
- AJ – Blackjack; Ace with winning kicker; Rockette; Ajax
- AT – Johnny Moss {possibly because he started playing poker at age 10}
- A9 – Chris Ferguson {won final hand of the 2000 WSOP Championship event with this against T.J. Cloutier’s AQ}; Jesus {Ferguson’s nickname}
- A8 – Dead Man’s Hand {The actual hand Wild Bill Hickock had when Jack McCall shot him was two pairs, Aces over Eights}
- A7 – Slapshot {hockey stick 7 hitting a puck ace}
- A6 – Tennessee Ernie Ford {singer of the song “Sixteen Tons”}
- A5 – High Five
- A4 – Transvestite {4 looks like a second ace but isn’t one}
- A3 – Ashtray; Baskin Robbins {ice cream chain boasts 31 flavors}
- A2 – Hunting Season {bullet plus duck}
- KK – Cowboys; King Kong; Kangaroos; Ace Magnets {the hand loses value if an ace hits the board}
- KQ – Marriage (Mixed Marriage if unsuited; Divorce if it doesn’t hold up); Royal Couple (if suited)
- KJ – Kojak; King John; Tucson Monster; Harry Potter {from the initials of author J.K. Rowling}; People who need people
- KT – Katie; Big Al {Wisconsin poker player “Big Al” Emerson}
- K9 – Fido; What a Dog; Unit; Canine; Saw Mill
- K8 – Kokomo; Kate
- K7 – Columbia River {King Seven [Salmon]: river is famous for its salmon runs}
- K6 – Kicks
- K5 – Seattle Special {Seattle TV channel 5 based in King county, Washington}
- K4 – Fork {“4K”}
- K3 – Commander Crab; King Crab; Alaska Hand; Sizzler {King Crab specials at restaurant}
- K2 – Big Fritz (if suited) {German poker player Andreas Fritz}; Donald {Donald Duck}
- QQ – Canadian Rockets; Canadian Aces; Siegfried & Roy; Ladies; Jailhouse Rock; Flower Girls; Big Pair; Dolly Parton; Hilton Sisters
- QJ – OJ {It’s a killer}; Maverick {The “Maverick” TV show’s theme song says, “Livin’ on jacks and queens. Maverick is a legend of the west.”}; Oedipus (or Oedipus Rex) {Greek story of incestuous mother-son relationship}; Pinochle {specifically, the Q of spades and J of diamonds meld from the card game Pinochle}
- QT – Robert Varkonyi {won 2002 WSOP Championship with QT, making a boat over Julian Gardner’s flush}; Quint {sound}; Goolsby {Texas gambler}
- Q9 – Quinine {sounds like the early anti-malarial drug}
- Q8 – Kuwait
- Q7 – Computer Hand {roughly average hand}
- Q6 – PB&J {Peanut Butter and Jelly}
- Q5 – Granny Mae {granny (queen) plus May (fifth month)}
- Q4 – Housework {answer to the joke, “What’s a queen for?”}
- Q3 – Ktara {a beginner who got stacked with only bottom pair}
- Q2 – Daisy {Daisy Duck}
- JJ – Fishhooks; Hooks; Jaybirds; One-Eyed Jacks; Disabled Veterans
- JT – Justin Timberlake
- J9 – Scotty Nguyen {Scotty Nguyen won the 1998 WSOP with this hand when the board came 89988 and induced a call from Kevin McBride with the memorable line, “You call this one and it’s all over, baby”}
- J8 – Jeffrey Dahmer {cannibal ate Jack}
- J7 – Jack Daniel’s {Old No. 7 whiskey}
- J6 – Jim Bechtel {Bechtel won the 1993 WSOP with this when his jack was high}; Railroad Hand {a moving train sounds like a repeated “Jacks and Sixes”}
- J5 – Motown; Jackson Five
- J4 – Flat Tire {what a jack is for}
- J3 – Lumberjack {a Tree and a Jack}
- J2 – Heckle and Jeckle {Two jays (cartoon birds)}
- TT – Dimes; Tension
- T9 – Countdown {10, 9, 8, …}
- T8 – Tetris; Golden Dan
- T7 – Split {7-10 split in bowling}; Bowling Hand
- T6 – Sweet {Sweet Sixteen}
- T5 – F&W Woolworth’s; Five and Dime; Merfs {draw poker game with tens and fives wild}
- T4 – Broderick Crawford {star of the 1955-1959 TV show “Highway Patrol” who said, “10-4”}; Convoy {pop song with CB slang}; Good Buddy; Over and Out; Roger That
- T3 – Fast Connection {T3 telecommunications connection}; Weinberg
- T2 – Texas Dolly; Doyle Brunson {won both 1976 & 1977 WSOP Championship with T2}
- 99 – Popeye’s; Phil Hellmuth {won 1989 World Series of Poker Main Event with this hand}; 99; German Virgin; Barbara Feldon {Agent 99 in “Get Smart” television show; Anne Hathaway played the character in the 2008 movie}, Wayne Gretzky {NHL player’s uniform number}
- 98 – Oldsmobile {car model}
- 97 – Persian Carpet Ride {Iranian poker pro Antonio Esfandiari’s favorite hand}
- 96 – Railroad; Joe Bernstein {poker pro}
- 95 – Dolly Parton {from her movie and song “Nine to Five”}; Hard Working Man
- 94 – Joe Montana Banana {Hall of Fame quarterback for the San Francisco 49ers}
- 93 – Jack Benny {comedian joked about always being 39 years old}
- 92 – Montana Banana {Joe Montana led the San Francisco 49ers on a 92-yard game-winning drive in the closing seconds of Super Bowl XXIII}
- 88 – Snowmen (or Pocket Snowmen); Two Fat Ladies; Racetracks; Piano Keys {number of keys on a standard piano}; Little Oldsmobile {car model smaller than the 98}
- 87 – RPM {original 10-inch vinyl record speed was 78 r.p.m.}
- 86 – Henry Bowen {Texas gambler}
- 85 – Finky Dink
- 84 – Orwell {George Orwell wrote the novel “1984”}
- 83 – Most feared hand in Holdem; Sven; Raquel Welch {actress claims to always be 38 years old}
- 82 – Tadpole {what the duck ate}
- 77 – Sunset Strip; Saturn; Mullets; Walking Sticks
- 76 – Union Oil {gas station Union 76}; Trombones {song “76 Trombones” from the Broadway musical “Music Man”}
- 75 – Heinz {57 varieties once claimed by food company}
- 74 – Cambodian Big Slick
- 73 – Hachem {Joseph Hachem won the 2005 World Series main event with 7c3s, flopping a straight with 4d5d6h}
- 72 – Beer Hand {time for a beer}
- 66 – Cherries {shape of the fruit}; Route 66; Kicks {rhymes with 66 in “Route 66” song}
- 65 – Ken Warren {poker writer who bestowed his own nickname in a book}; Lawrence Taylor {NFL Hall of Fame linebacker who wore #56}
- 64 – The Rabbit {Australian cricketer Adam Gilchrist who hit a lot of 6’s and 4’s}; Gilchrist
- 63 – Jimmy Summerfield {poker tournament director}; Blocky {his nickname}; Spanish Inquisition {“Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition” from Monty Python}
- 62 – Ainsworth {British poker player Ron Ainsworth, known to play this}; Cowboy Wolford {poker player Byron “Cowboy” Wolford, known to play this}
- 55 – Presto {Hold ‘Em analogy to being dealt 21 in blackjack due to stories of the hand winning in the rec.gambling.poker newsgroup}; Speed Limit
- 54 – Colt .45; Jesse James {may have been killed by a Colt .45}; Moneymaker {Chris Moneymaker won the 2003 WSOP Main Event with this hand}
- 53 – Bully Johnson {poker player, described as laid back and quiet by Doyle Brunson, played this hand despite preflop raise and caught a straight on the flop to win against trip aces}
- 52 – Quarter; Two Bits
- 44 – Canadian Presto {see Presto}; Diana Dors {English actress whose name rhymes with “All the Fours” (originally a term from Bingo, which she played and called}; Magnum; Colt .44; Sailboats; Obama {Barack Obama is the 44th U.S. President}
- 43 – Waltz {dance in 3/4 time (three beats of quarter notes per measure)}
- 42 – Lumberman’s Hand {two by four pieces of wood}; Grump {favorite hand of Poker Grump blogger Bob Woolley}
- 33 – Crabs; City Park {Two Threes [Trees]}; Treys
- 32 – Hooter Hand; Mississippi Slick; Polish Big Slick; Can of Corn; Ice {water freezes at 32 degrees Fahrenheit}; Jordan {Michael Jordan’s Chicago Bulls uniform number was 23}
- 22 – Ducks {shape of the animal}; Pocket Swans {ditto}; Deuces
[SS] “I tried to find the reason behind every nickname, but I’m still stumped by some of them. Like, I know Joe Bernstein was a poker player who was more famous for being one of the first blackjack card counters, but what does he have to do with the Nine-Six?”
Footnotes:
- The card was selling for a dollar on Amazon.
- Watch the finals of the contest on YouTube.
- Topps actually first sold complete factory sets in 1974 through the J.C. Penney mail order catalog, but it was a one-time deal.
- The list can also be found sorted by nickname.