One Outer, One Outer

[UU] “I’ve had enough bad beats to write a book, but tonight’s topped them all. I lost on a one-outer, one-outer!” wailed Umberto the Unlucky.

[FF] “I’m not very good at math, but I’m pretty sure that’s impossible.”

[UU] “Not when I’m in the hand, it isn’t. I got all my chips in good, as usual. Hit the nut flush when the A♣ showed up on the turn, joining the J♣9♣8♣ on the board. I check-raised for just about the pot, and Benny the Book, who had me covered by a little, went into the tank.”

[UU] “After a few minutes, Benny finally announced his call and flipped over what everyone expected him to have, a flush but not the nuts. I showed my K♣, and everyone could see that his Q♣ left him one out, the 10♣ for a straight flush.”

[UU] “Leroy the Lion was dealing, and after some unnecessary theatrics, he flipped over… drumroll please… the 10♣.

[LL] The whole table went, “Ooh!” and Benny started to dance, but Leroy cut everyone off with a quick apology, “Sorry, wrong deck!” During the long delay when Benny had been thinking, the Lion had grabbed the second, red deck to shuffle and then accidentally dealt the river from it. The Book was in disbelief, but Roderick the Rock picked up the counterfeit river card, turned it face down, and sure enough, its red back didn’t match the blue cards in the muck.

[LL] “I’m really sorry about that. My bad. But it was also Harriet the Hazy’s fault, because she was supposed to shuffle but didn’t.” Leroy picked up the blue deck, announced, “And the real river card is…”

If it had been anybody but Umberto, we might have had to call 911 for a heart attack. But the Unlucky one is so inured to bad beats that he merely said, “Figures”, and stood up when the other 10♣ hit the felt.


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