Stan’s Lists – Poker Player Taglines

[RR] “Poker players could have taglines, too!” Roderick the Rock suggested. Stan the Stat agreed, and after a little brainstorming their new list looked like this:

Player Tagline
Viktor Blom Superhero Identity: Isildur1. Superpower: poker skill. Fatal Weaknesses: bankroll management and game selection. Meet the Six-Million Dollar Man of online poker.1
Humberto Brenes Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the ring game…2
Doyle Brunson Cowboys always goes down shooting.
Johnny Chan 151 victims. 166 more victims. One orange. The Orient Express chugs on.
Annie Duke Denied on The Apprentice3. Tainted by Absolute Poker/Ultimate Bet. Sunk by the Epic Poker League. Have we seen the last of the Duchess of Poker?
Tom Dwan He’s never met a bet he didn’t like.
Antonio Esfandiari Watch the Magician make everyone else’s chips disappear.
Chris Ferguson This Jesus can’t turn water into wine, but he can slice a banana with a playing card from ten feet away.
Jamie Gold He conned 8,772 players out of their chips, tried to stiff his partners, and lived to tell.
Barry Greenstein Robin Hood rides again.
Joseph Hachem Aussie Aussie Aussie! Oi Oi Oi! Pass the Sugah!
Russ Hamilton From World Series of Poker hero4 to Ultimate Bet villain.
Dan Harrington Action Dan. Because actions speak louder than words.
Phil Hellmuth The brat is back.
Phil Ivey He can look you in the eyes and see your soul.
Gabe Kaplan It’s only funny until somebody loses a buy-in.
Phil Laak The Unabomber strikes again.
Mike Matusow Check-Raising the Devil.5 (Or “The Mouth that roared.”)
Chris Moneymaker He turned $866 into $2.5 million, and the poker world was changed forever.
Daniel Negreanu Chicks may dig the long ball, but Kid Poker has the bracelets and cash to prove that small ball works.
Vanessa Rousso Lady Maverick: In her hands, a deck of cards is the only thing more dangerous than a gun.7
Vanessa Selbst Underestimate the Judit Polgar of Poker at your own peril.
Stu Ungar The Kid played hard and partied harder.8

Footnotes:

  1. Blom kept his real identity hidden for more than a year. On November 15, 2009, at only nineteen years of age, he topped six million dollars in winnings. He has since won and lost millions of dollars, sometimes in a single day.
  2. Brenes is known as “The Shark”, and the Jaws 2 tagline was, “Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water”.
  3. By Joan Rivers.
  4. Hamilton won the 1994 WSOP Main Event.
  5. Matusow’s autobiography is named Check-Raising the Devil.
  6. Moneymaker misremembered the buy-in, rounding $39 to $40 in the subtitle of his autobiography. Here’s Short-Stacked Shamus’s article on the correction.
  7. See Maverick in Stan’s Lists – Movie Taglines.
  8. The movie about Stu’s life, High Roller: The Stu Ungar Story appeared in Stan’s Lists – Movie Taglines last week.

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