“Internet Hold’Em Poker” Review

[LL] “Like Doyle Brunson’s ‘Online Poker’, Avery Cardoza’s Internet Hold’Em Poker seems to have been mostly written to get people playing online poker at a particular site”, Leroy the Lion claimed.

[RR] “I know Cardoza Publishing, but what poker site were they hawking?” Roderick the Rock questioned.

[LL] “Their own: Cardoza Games.”

[RR] “I’ve never heard of that.”

[LL] “And indeed, it didn’t last long, probably only a couple years beyond this book’s publication. Cardoza Games’s web site now redirects to the Cardoza Books store.1

I know you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, but this one foreshadows what’s inside, as it features a hand holding four Aces, an impossibility in Texas Hold ‘Em.”

[RR] “Undoubtedly a stock photo.”

[LL] “The book makes its next error when it’s still explaining online poker: in the list of ‘Fifteen Advantages of Online Poker’, #12 is ‘You Can Play As a Team’, which is expressly forbidden by pretty much every site. Also, in full knowledge of the cheating that had occurred at Absolute Bet and Ultimate Poker, the book still claims that ‘Online Sites Cannot Manipulate the Software’. It may never happen again at any of the major sites, but it’s completely possible as it would only take one rogue employee.

Despite a section covering the basics of poker, even explaining suits and denominations, this is a fairly thin book for explaining Internet Poker and Texas Hold ‘Em. The cover also teases, ‘Plus 5-card stud, 7-card stud & Omaha’, which get a meager five to six pages each, only enough to list their rules and some very basic strategy. But then, Hold ‘Em doesn’t get a whole lot of specific coverage either as most of the book applies to online poker in general, including 16 pages alone on ‘Getting Into Games’, a section padded with screenshots that were of limited value then and no value now.

The most useful section in the book may be the appendix on internet poker acronyms, which includes three pages of abbreviations and acronyms you might not know if you haven’t played much online poker.”

[RR] “So the book was pretty much a waste of time…”

[LL] “And paper.”

Title Internet Hold’Em Poker
Author Avery Cardoza
Year 2007
Skill Level Beginner
Pros Decent glossary of internet poker acronyms.
Cons Mostly served as an ad for Cardoza Games, which no longer has online poker.
Rating 1.5

Footnotes:

  1. Cardoza Books surprisingly still sells this book for $6.47.
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“52 Tips Hold ’em Poker” Review

[LL] “I wasn’t much of a writer in college”, Leroy the Lion reminisced, “but Expository Writing was a required course, and I always struggled to meet the minimum length requirements for the papers. On one particular assignment, I couldn’t even get to five pages without starting halfway down the first page, double-spacing, and adding huge margins.”1

[RR] “And if I remember right, you managed to graduate without writing anything much longer”, Roderick the Rock confirmed.

[LL] “Yep. No thesis. Nothing longer than ten pages. Little did I know that I’d be writing 200-page user guides in the near future.”

[RR] “Were you going somewhere with this?”

[LL] “I did have a point… which was that Barry Shulman has also mastered the art of content expansion. Shulman, who runs Card Player magazine with his son Jeff, called his own number to write a ’52 Tips’ series of poker books starting in 2005. The first book, titled 52 Tips for Texas Hold’em Poker, covered just Limit Hold ‘Em despite the more general name. The following year’s sequel was the one I wanted and bought, 52 Tips for No-Limit Hold’em Poker.

Despite physically occupying 135 pages, copious white space (including huge card graphics that take up half a page for each of the 52 tips and an average of almost that much emptiness at the end of each section) means the actual content could have fit comfortably in about 80 pages. What’s in the book is pretty good, but there just isn’t much of it. Almost every piece of advice leaves the reader pondering follow-up questions that go unaddressed.2

On the plus side, the variety is good. Although I don’t agree with all of the advice, you could do worse for an introductory book. This can’t be the only one you read but hopefully leaves you wanting to learn more about the great game of No-Limit Texas Hold ‘Em! Just not from Barry Shulman though, as he never did get around to writing a third book for the series.”

Title 52 Tips for No-Limit Hold’em Poker
Author Barry Shulman & Roy Rounder
Year 2006
Skill Level Beginner
Pros Concise, easy to digest articles with sound advice.
Cons Very short, with no depth anywhere.
Rating 2.5

Footnotes:

  1. Maybe my mistake was choosing the science writing course. I just didn’t have that much to say about vernier calipers.
  2. For example, how can you cover “Knowing What Your Opponents Are Holding” in a single page? That’s a subject worthy of entire books.
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“Kill Phil” Review

[LL] “Phil Hellmuth may not be the best behaved poker pro, but his results are indisputably excellent, especially in No Limit Hold ‘Em tournaments”, Leroy the Lion conceded. “Blair Rodman and Lee Nelson propose a strategy for turning the tables and putting the pressure on the Poker Brat, Phil Gordon, Phil Ivey, Phil Laak, and any other top player whether they’re named Phil or not.”

[RR] “But without all the gratuitous violence in the Kill Bill standard hand group charts, they’re about three groups apart. The gap is for a good reason: you only flop a flush draw about 11% of the time with suited cards. And that’s not even taking into account the expensive times when you hit your flush and run into a bigger one.

Kill Phil is best suited to beginners who want something that’ll work quickly and players of any skill who have the mentality to embrace the swingy nature of longball.”

Title Kill Phil
Author Blair Rodman & Lee Nelson
Year 2005
Skill Level Beginner/Intermediate
Pros Presents a system that a complete novice can learn in a few hours and have a competitive chance at winning a poker tournament.
Cons Playing style may antagonize opponents and requires more than usual patience.
Rating 3.5
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“Online Poker” Review

[LL] “One book I pretty much regret wasting my time reading: Doyle Brunson’s Online Poker“, Leroy the Lion opined.

[SS] “Why?” Stan the Stat encouraged.

[LL] “It’s basically a 192-page ad for Doyle’s Room, which was already having difficulties before it shut down less than a month and a half after Black Friday in 2011.”1

[SS] “Sorry, you’re not getting your time back. But did their customers get their money back?”

[LL] “Actually, U.S. players were first told they could no longer play back in 2007, when the UIGEA first rattled the site, and were given the option of moving their funds to Full Tilt Poker. Doyle’s Room accepted Americans again for a while in 2008 and again from 2009 on as part of the Cake Poker Network. In late 2011, the site was bought by America’s Cardroom, which reopened it with a .eu address, leaving all accounts intact.

Unfortunately, even though the site still exists, with the change in the online poker landscape in the U.S., other parts of the book are quite outdated, including lists of where to play, where to learn, and where to discuss poker (pretty much only TwoPlusTwo.com is still around).

Brunson’s lists of ‘Four Reasons Online Poker Is Worse’ (than live poker), ’24 Reasons Online Poker Is Better’, ‘Seven Powerful Plays and Manuevers’, ’25 Online Poker Tips’, and ’10 Key Tips to Winning Online’ are mostly still relevant, but a good chunk of the items seemed painfully obvious to me.”

[SS] “So not exactly my kind of lists?”

[LL] “Maybe with a little editing. But Brunson’s best advice isn’t in any of the lists. In the ‘Winning Game Strategies’ chapter, he advises you to read his Super System and Super System 2 instead. Except for brief sections on physical tells, everything in both books applies just as well to online poker as live games.

Those two books are so far superior to this one, they don’t belong on the same shelf. Brunson was smart enough to cut ties with his eponymous poker room on Black Friday;2 he’d do well to separate himself from this book as well.”

Title Online Poker
Author Doyle Brunson
Year 2005
Skill Level Beginner to Intermediate
Pros Well-edited introduction to playing online poker.
Cons Basically designed to get you to play on Doyle’s Room, which is no longer accessible from the U.S.
Rating 1.5

Footnotes:

  1. The other smaller sites that were axed by the U.S. Department of Justice were: 2Betsdi.com, beted.com, betehorse.com, betgrandesports.com, betmaker.com, bookmaker.com (still exists as bookmaker.eu), funtimebingo.com, goldenarchcasino.com, and truepoker.com (now forwards to the Two Plus Two Poker Forums).
  2. Unfortunately for Brunson, he had already missed his chance to sell out for $230 million.
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“Illustrated Guide to Texas Hold’Em” Review

[LL] “I was pretty sure Zen and the Art of Poker would remain unrivaled as the worst poker book I’ve ever read, but Dennis Purdy’s Illustrated Guide to Texas Hold’Em is also a contender. Although the book is subtitled ‘Making Winners out of Beginners and Advanced Players’, the material is really for beginners only. Like Maroon’s book, this book covers Limit Hold ‘Em even as it acknowledges that television coverage is all about the No-Limit game (and casinos would soon follow suit).

The two books are very similar in actually being much shorter than they appear because of repetition. But while Larry W. Phillips’s book mostly spews harmless advice, Purdy’s can cause some serious damage to your game.

After less than thirty pages of overview, including inaccurate ‘relative win rates’ of the 169 starting hands,1 the meat of the book contains 150 ‘Practice Situations’. Each hand gets two pages, whether it needs them or not, including a diagram that tells you that ‘BB’ means ‘big blind’ and ‘SB’ means ‘small blind’ all 150 times. What that means is that the book’s 368 pages are effectively much shorter. If you include all the hands that are so similar to each other that the repetition is useless, this effectively becomes a much shorter book that could easily have shed half its pages without any loss.

On some hands, Purdy plays very tightly, but on others he bets like a maniac (e.g., capping the betting with a poor straight draw on a board with a possible flush draw). Mostly he plays too passively. Add in his bad beat stories that we don’t need to hear and errors like miscounting outs2 and miscalculating odds3 sprinkled throughout the book, this book earns a tie for the lowest rating I’ve ever given. If I had to choose, I’d prefer Zen and the Art of Poker, since it least has some entertaining quotes.”

Title Illustrated Guide to Texas Hold’Em
Author Dennis Purdy
Year 2005
Skill Level Beginner
Pros Large glossary (30 pages) but with unnecessary padding.4
Cons Covers Limit Hold ‘Em; material wasn’t great to begin with and hasn’t aged well.
Rating 1.5

Footnotes:

  1. Purdy ran a simulation of a million hands, which was clearly far too few. The most egregious error is his claim during hand #136 that Queen-Ten offsuit wins 9.3% of the time but that jumps to 39.4% if suited. Being suited never has that dramatic a difference (three percentage points at best). He also ranks Seven-Two offsuit ahead of a staggering 30 other hands.
  2. Hand #107 states that a straight flush draw has 17 outs, but two of the straight and flush outs are shared, so there are only 15 outs.
  3. Hand #142 compares the odds of a hitting a set on the turn or river to the bet being faced on the turn alone.
  4. Once he’s explained that “Aces full” means a full house of Aces and another denomination, he really doesn’t need to include the other twelve denominations.
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“Winning Texas Hold’Em” Review

[LL] “Subtitled ‘Cash Game Poker Strategies for Players of All Skill Levels’, Matt Maroon’s Winning Texas Hold’Em is a complete introduction to Limit Hold ‘Em, covering the rules of the game, mathematical expectations, luck, pot odds, implied odds, betting, position, bluffing, semi-bluffing, deception, slowplaying, psychology, starting hands, playing each street, and a few more advanced concepts.”

[LL] “Stan, you would like some of Maroon’s lists, like his eight ‘Reasons to Bet with Cards Left to Come” (but just three reasons not to and just two reasons to bet on the river), and the five requirements for slowplaying.”

[SS] “Absolutely. I love lists. From elementary school spelling lists to middle school vocabulary lists to college waiting lists and Dean’s lists to everyday to do lists, packing lists, laundry lists, and shopping lists to longer term wish lists and bucket lists.”

[LL] “Like playing the World Series of Poker?”

[SS} “Yeah, someday…”

[LL] “Unfortunately, while this book may help your overall poker game, it focuses on cash games, not tournaments. You might have a better chance of a bracelet in a Limit Hold ‘Em event though, since the fields are much smaller in general.”

[SS] “So you’d recommend this book then?”

[LL] “For playing Limit Hold ‘Em cash games, yes. Otherwise, no.

When this book was published, Limit Hold ‘Em was the most popular cash game spread in casinos. And while most of the advice applies to every type of poker, a No-Limit Hold ‘Em version of this book would be much more useful now, but unfortunately Maroon never wrote it.”

Title Winning Texas Hold’Em
Author Matt Maroon
Year 2005
Skill Level Beginner to Intermediate
Pros Thorough and well-written, with concepts that apply to most varieties of poker. Nicely printed with red and black playing card graphics.
Cons Features the now less popular game of Limit Hold ‘Em.
Rating 3.0
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“Poker: The Real Deal” Review

[LL] “Dot-com millionaire Phil Gordon1 may be more famous for his various colored poker books,2” Leroy the Lion began, “but Poker: The Real Deal is his magnum opus (with help from Jonathan Grotenstein, who’s more of a writer than a poker player3). Their 2004 book covers the history of poker, starting with the invention of playing cards, moving on to the basics of Texas Hold ‘Em, and taking you all the way to the World Series of Poker Main Event.

Limit Hold ‘Em, online poker, the rules and etiquette of playing in casinos, and tells are all covered before No Limit Hold ‘Em finally enters the scene for good in Chapter 9 almost three-fifths of the way through the book.”

[SS] “Limit was the main game spread in casinos then, so that’s not a surprise”, Stan the Stat explained.

[LL] “Still, the text is breezily readable, almost making learning Texas Hold ‘Em fun. For example, your possible actions are compared to various tools. Folding is the flathead screwdriver, mundane but your most commonly used tool.”

[SS] “I think Phillips heads screws are more popular now.”

[LL] “Could be. Anyway, after saying that betting and raising are your power tools, the analogy silently disappears. Too bad, because I think the deep stack preflop all-in is like a sledgehammer…”

[SS] “Or maybe the top step on a folding ladder, you know, the one that says ‘do not step here'”.

[LL] “Yep, it could get help you reach your goal, but it’s also a long fall.

The book also has its ups and downs. One of the highlights is that each chapter ends with a short quiz, mostly testing what you’ve just learned4 and pitting you against various villains, the last of whom is Phil Hellmuth. Book recommendations are sprinkled throughout; they’re included to supplement the text, which doesn’t go deep into strategy.”

[SS] “And your verdict?”

[LL] “It’s like a starter toolkit. Neither you nor I need it, but it’s a decent place to begin for a neophyte.”

Title Poker: The Real Deal
Author Phil Gordon & Jonathan Grotenstein
Year 2004
Skill Level Beginner
Pros Well written and logically organized. Informal, flowing style makes a pleasant read.
Cons A fair amount on Limit Hold ‘Em (without even explicitly saying so). Not much depth and more than a few inaccuracies.5
Rating 2.5

Footnotes:

  1. With three friends, Gordon started Netsys Technologies, which Cisco Systems bought for $95 million in stock in 1996.
  2. Phil Gordon now has four colored books: Phil Gordon’s Little Green Book: Lessons and Teachings in No Limit Texas Hold’em, Phil Gordon’s Little Blue Book: More Lessons and Hand Analysis in No Limit Texas Hold’em, Phil Gordon’s Little Black Book: Beginning Poker Lessons and the No Limit Lifestyle, and Phil Gordon’s Little Gold Book: Advanced Lessons for Mastering Poker 2.0.
  3. Grotenstein claims to be a professional poker player but has no entry in the Hendon Mob Database, so he’s apparently a cash game specialist (and even then nothing about his poker playing can be found by Google). On the other hand, Phil Gordon has almost $3 million in lifetime tournament earnings, making him the fifth winningest Phil behind Ivey, Hellmuth, Gruissem, and Laak.
  4. My favorite quiz was one that didn’t: matching poker quotes with the movies they came from (and now I need to see the two of the eight movies I’ve missed).
  5. Most of the errors are the same ones all poker books of the era make: e.g., retelling the Nick Dandolos-Johnny Moss marathon that didn’t happen and claiming that Chris Moneymaker bought in for $40. He also includes the common misspellings of Nick “Dandalos” for Dandolos, Jack “Strauss” for Straus, and “Brian” Roberts for Bryan.
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“Poker Player’s Bible” Review

[LL] “You know the saying, ‘You can’t judge a book by its cover’?” Leroy the Lion queried rhetorically.

[RR] “Of course. That’s why Amazon has a ‘Look Inside’ feature”, Roderick the Rock noted.

[LL] “The Poker Player’s Bible has the best packaging of any poker book I own. Not only is it a hardcover, but its mechanical wire binding means it lays open flat on any page. Inside, you’ll find beautiful color printing on high-quality pages. But…”

[RR] “There’s always a ‘but’, isn’t there?”

[LL] “But the content isn’t nearly as good as the presentation. It’s a decent introduction to Texas Hold ‘Em, Omaha, Omaha Eight or Better, Seven-Card Stud, and Seven-Card Stud Eight or Better, but unfortunately it almost exclusively discusses the Limit versions of Hold ‘Em and the two Omaha variants. It’s incredibly neatly organized, covering Rules, Starting Hands, Position, Odds and Outs, Implied Odds, Deception, Semi-bluffing, Defending, Raising, Free Cards, Slowplaying, and Reading Your Opponents, but the book is ordered by those sections instead of by game type so you’ll need to skip around to read about any single game. I always read cover-to-cover, so it didn’t bother me, but I wouldn’t recommend that anyone try to learn all five variants at the same time, which is what the book clearly wants you to do.

And while I don’t expect much originality in beginner books, in this case much of the material is almost identical to Poker for Dummies, which Krieger co-wrote with Richard D. Harroch four years earlier.”

[RR] “Maybe that’s why he wanted to use a different order — to distinguish this book.”

[LL] “Perhaps, but that wasn’t the only bad decision. Despite all the pretty diagrams, he made some unfortunate choices that make things hard to read. Hole cards are very stylishly displayed, drawn like actual playing cards with bent corners, but this puts the suit and denomination sideways. Diamonds and hearts in the text itself are gray, which is actually worse than leaving them black as they’re faint. And in the section on betting, he crams way too much information into each diagram. He tried to clarify things by color-coding the action, but you shouldn’t need a decoder ring to follow a hand.”

[RR] “You’d expect a poker player to lay things out more logically.”

[LL] “Logic does not appear to be Krieger’s strength. Instead of the standard 13×13 matrix for Hold ‘Em starting hands with pairs along the diagonal, he concatenates a pairs column with the suited cards in the wrong direction (e.g, QQ is next to AJ) then lists the unsuited hands separately.

One final example before I lay the book to rest: in the Hold ‘Em section, page 90 says, ‘The nut flush is almost always the winning hand in an unpaired board’, which is not only unclear but either incorrect or understated. Most boards won’t have three of one suit, so no flush will be possible.1 If there are three of a suit, then the nut flush is always the nuts on an unpaired board.”

[LL] “In the end, I really wanted to like this book, but all its good advice is overwhelmed by its ample flaws. Beginners’ books should be easier to read.”

Title Poker Player’s Bible
Author Lou Krieger
Year 2004
Skill Level Beginner
Pros Beautifully mechanically-bound color pages that lay open flat. Solid, basic advice on five different games.
Cons Oddly organized with hard-to-read hole cards and some confusing diagrams.
Rating 2.5

Footnotes:

  1. According to wizardsofodds.com, the “probability that no more than two of one suit will be present is (360+240)/1,024 = 600/1,024 = 58.59%”.
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“Play Poker Like the Pros” Review

[LL] “Phil Hellmuth is famous for his braggadocio,” Leroy the Lion began, “so it won’t surprise you that the name of his book, Play Poker Like the Pros, is a major exaggeration; this is definitely a beginner’s book. The puffery continues on the cover by calling Johnny Chan ‘seven-time World Champion of Poker’, which makes it sound like he’s won the WSOP Main Event seven times. A similar inaccuracy in the introduction calls Hellmuth ‘a seven-time winner of the World Series of Poker’. Both numbers actually refer to how many WSOP bracelets each player had won at the time the book was written.

Hellmuth even deluded himself into thinking his chops as a poet merited the inclusion of a poem on poker titled ‘The Universe Conspired to Help’, which could have been subtitled ‘Ode to Myself’. Spare yourself the agony of reading it, as it’s miles from decent with no concept of meter or feet (and no, Phil, ‘was it’ and ‘achieve it’ don’t rhyme).”

[RR] “So you really loved the book, eh?” Roderick the Rock noted sarcastically.

[LL] “His style works for him. He’s doubled his bracelet count since this book was published, so he obviously knows a lot that he didn’t write down. Like many of the books of this era, the main subject is limit poker, often without explicitly saying so. Hellmuth of all people should have realized that the tide had turned, as four of his seven bracelets at that point were in No Limit Hold ‘Em, and that included his cherished Main Event title. Worse still, the Limit sections of this book are littered with real-world No Limit hand examples!”

[RR] “That’s probably because Limit Hold ‘Em is so boring compared to No Limit.”

[LL] “Especially if you play Limit Hold ‘Em Hellmuth’s way. He endorses the same supertight strategy that he started his poker career with as an undergraduate in the University of Wisconsin Student Union game. Initially, he lets you play just the top 10 starting hands (all the pairs from Aces down to Sevens, plus Ace-King and Ace-Queen) and nothing else. The good part is that he wants you to raise every time. This is the quintessential tight aggressive (TAG) strategy, except that he believes that if ‘tight is right’, then super tight is even better.

Once you have reached the ‘intermediate skill’ level, you can add the ‘majority play hands’ to your arsenal. These are the remaining pairs (Sixes through Twos), suited Aces, and King-Queen. He recommends reraising with small pairs preflop, hoping to either hit a set or steal the pot with a continuation bet on a high flop. Suited Aces need many opponents to get paid off properly when you finally hit your nut flush. King-Queen, however, wants fewer opponents and should be raised preflop.”

[LL] “For No Limit Hold ‘Em, Hellmuth lets you begin with a few more hands: the Top 10 from Limit Hold ‘Em plus the remaining pairs, Ace-King, and Ace-Queen.1 With Aces through Queens and Ace-King, he wants you to bet big preflop, which can only work until your opponents figure out your strategy. With Jacks through Nines, he says to reraise preflop because you’d prefer not to see a flop. For the other hands, just raise, hoping to take it down but letting you get away cheaply if you miss the flop.

Intermediate players can add suited Aces with the caveat that you’re looking for the nut flush, not a low pair or a pair of Aces with a bad kicker. Suited connectors can be played if you need to put in less than five percent of your chips to see the flop.

Sadly, although Hellmuth covers Limit Hold ‘Em tournament strategy, he doesn’t discuss No Limit Hold ‘Em tourneys; fortunately, I suspect his advice wouldn’t differ much. Play supertight while the weakest players are being eliminated then shift to stealing the blinds from the remaining supertight players then steal from everyone at the money bubble. He’s willing to fold rather than risk his remaining chips even if he thinks he has an advantage.”

[LL] “The second half of the book covers six non-Hold ‘Em poker variants: Omaha, Omaha Eight or Better, Pot-Limit Omaha, Seven-Card Stud, Razz, and Stud Eight or Better. Although Hellmuth is known mostly for his Hold ‘Em skills,2 he’s won numerous Omaha and Stud tournaments, including the $250 Limit Seven-Card Stud for the European Poker Championship in 2000, the $1,000 Omaha Hi/Lo at the 2003 L.A. Poker Classic, and the $1,100 Limit Omaha / Stud 8 or Better in the same festival just last month.

Hellmuth considers starting hand selection by far the most important part of all of the games, so for each variant he copiously describes which starting hands you should play and why. For playing the later streets, he sets forth some sound strategy, although, given the limited amount of space, the advice is fairly broad. Still, I found these sections much more useful than the Limit Hold ‘Em parts.

Perhaps Hellmuth’s most notable contribution from this book was the introduction of a small set of animal player types:

  • Mouse: a very timid player who plays only the best starting hands and doesn’t raise often.
  • Lion: a tight player who is good at bluffing and reading bluffs.
  • Jackal: a loose and wild player
  • Elephant: a loose calling station
  • Eagle: a ‘Top 100’ player3

I’ll end with my favorite quote of the book: ‘Playing suited connectors is like eating potato chips; once you eat one chip, you can’t help eating many more!'”4

Title Play Poker Like the Pros
Author Phil Hellmuth
Year 2003
Skill Level Beginner
Pros A good beginner’s guide to Limit Hold ‘Em, Limit Omaha, and Seven-Card Stud.
Cons Very little on No Limit games. Condescending tone.
Rating 2.5

Footnotes:

  1. This tight range works out to 8.3% of all starting hands.
  2. Hellmuth’s first eleven WSOP bracelets were all won in Hold ‘Em events (two of his last three were in Razz).
  3. Play Poker Like the Eagles is the book I would much prefer Hellmuth had written, but he admits on page 33 that that ‘is a lofty and worthwhile goal, but it is beyond the scope of this book’.
  4. You might say that Hellmuth lays off the suited connectors on page 131. On the flip side, his worst quote on page 350 claims, “[UltimateBet.com] is the only site that I currently recommend. It’s regulated by the Kahnawake Gaming Commission and is honest and professional.”
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Counterfeiting


[SS] “Do you guys know the counterfeit coins puzzle?” Stan the Stat surveyed the table.

[LL] “Do you mean the 9 coin puzzle with two weighings or the 12 coin puzzle with three weighings?” Leroy the Lion countered.

[SS] “Good, then you’re ready for my new, poker-themed puzzle.”

[LL] “Fire away.”

[SS] “Okay. At a tournament, there was a problem with these very poker chips in front of us. Some immoral rodent snuck a counterfeit chip into circulation. Fortunately, we know the fake is one of these 14 chips (don’t ask how), and we were able to determine (ditto) that the fake chip weighed a different amount than the real chips. Unfortunately, our bathroom scale isn’t accurate enough to weigh the chips, but we dug out this old swing arm balance for you. Because we don’t have time for you to weigh each chip against every other one because I spent all our time laying out the puzzle, you only get three weighings to find the counterfeit chip. Can you do it?”

[LL] “That’s impossible. It took three weighings just to find the fake among a dozen; how can we find one among fourteen?”

[SS] “I assure you that it can be done. Maybe Figaro can help you out?”

[LL] “Need to think outside the box?”

[SS] “Perhaps.”

[FF] “Well, how do you solve the nine coin problem?” Figaro inquired.

[LL] “Not much of a challenge. In that puzzle you know that the fake coin is light. You just weigh any three against any other three. If they match, the fake is in the three you didn’t weigh; otherwise it’s one of the light three. Weigh any two of those three against each other, and you have your answer.”

[FF] “And the twelve coin problem?”

[LL] “That’s a bit harder, partly because you don’t know if the odd coin is lighter or heavier. I don’t remember the exact sequence, but you start by weighing any four against any other four.”

[FF] “So you eliminate eight of the twelve coins on the first weighing.”

[LL] “Right. The next step involves reusing some of the coins that you know are real, but I’d have to figure out the different cases.”

[RR] “What if Leroy pointed you to Figaro not because he’s an independent thinker, although that’s certainly true, but because he was playing with these other, presumably genuine, chips?” Roderick the Rock enjoined. “What if we add a known real poker chip to the mix and start by weighing five against five?”

{ highlight the following spoiler to read it }


[LL] “That’s it! If they balance, it’s easy. You can weigh three of the remaining chips against three that balanced. If those balance, you weigh either of the remaining chips. If they don’t, you know which way the pans tilted and you’ve narrowed it down to three chip, and you have the second half of the 9 coin problem.

If the first weighing doesn’t balance, weigh two from the light side (whichever the original real chip wasn’t on, that is) and one from the heavy side against two from the light side and one from the heavy side. If those match, you have two potential heavy chips and one potential light chip left, and you weigh one heavy and one light against two real chips. If those don’t match, then you’re down to the heavy chip on the heavy side and the two light chips on the lighter side, and you have a similar case.”1

[SS] “Very well done! Do you guys remember a couple years ago when a cheater tried to dispose of some fake poker chips in the toilet and got caught?”

[LL] “It wasn’t even the casino he was stealing from!”

[SS] “Right. That and three other recent incidents caught my attention for the combination of greed and idiocy:

  • In June 2013, Rear Admiral Timothy M. Giardina was caught using fake $500 poker chips at a Nebraska casino. Apparently the Navy officer, who had previously been banned from other casinos in Iowa and Kansas, was addicted to not only gambling but nicotine; he was caught on surveillance video taking cigarette butts out of an ash tray and smoking them. The Navy stripped him of a star, but no criminal charges were pressed.
  • In January 2014, Christian Lusardi introduced some fake poker chips at a Borgata poker tournament but got caught when he tried to flush $2.7 million worth of chips down the toilet at the nearby Harrah’s Resort and Casino and clogged the plumbing. The North Carolinian was sentenced to five years in prison.
  • Later in the same month, Rosa A. Nguyen and Vuong Q. Truong used fake $100 poker chips in the Maryland Live Casino then tried to dispose of unused fakes in Lake Accotink near their home in Springfield, Virginia. Only problem: the chips floated.
  • In December 2015, Sajid Rashid and Qamar Hussain were sentenced to 30 months in jail in Monte Carlo for marking up €10 chips up as &euro1,000 chips and collecting almost £s;3 million playing roulette. Their accomplice Zahidul Haque Khan got 10 months for accepting their loot. The British trio had made many visits to Monaco and had even been comped by the casino for their high rolling ways. Rashid had already served 14 months in jail and had been banned for life from British casinos.”

[LL] “I’d think that counterfeit poker chips are becoming less of a problem as casinos have begun using RFID2 technology, especially in larger denomination chips.”

[SS] “But even as casinos step up their security measures, you can never be safe from counterfeiting any time you play Hold ‘Em!”

[RR] “Ha ha. You mean like when your hole cards are counterfeited?”

[SS] “Indeed. “There’s no real consensus on what constitutes counterfeiting and what doesn’t, so I break things into three categories: Definitely, Borderline, and Not Counterfeiting:

Definitely Counterfeiting

Hand Opp. Flop Turn River Description
7♣7♦ A♣K♦ Q♥T♠T♣ 3♦ Q♠ Pocket pair counterfeited by higher two pairs on board (making 3 pairs)
7♣7♦ A♣K♦ Q♥Q♠7♥ Q♦ 7♠ Full house on flop counterfeited for half pot on river
7♣7♦ A♣K♦ Q♥Q♠T♣ Q♦ T♥ Full house on turn counterfeited for half pot
7♣7♦ A♣K♦ Q♥Q♠7♥ Q♦ Q♣ Full house on flop counterfeited for full pot when pocket pair becomes bad kicker
K♣Q♦ A♣K♦ J♥T♠9♣ Q♦ Straight counterfeited by turn giving opponent a higher straight
K♣Q♦ K♦2♣ J♥T♠9♣ Q♦ Straight counterfeited for half the pot
9♣8♦ any

K♥K♠8♥ 8♣ K♦ River makes bigger full house on board, costing half a pot to most hands and losing to pocket Nines and higher
9♣8♦ any

K♥K♠8♥ K♦ 8♣ Same as above but perhaps more painfully (but always behind pocket Nines in this case)
9♣8♦ T♣T♦ 9♥8♠2♣ 2♠ Two pairs counterfeited by pair on board, giving opponent a higher two pairs
9♣8♦ 9♥2♠ Q♥J♠8♣ J♥ 9♠ River improved hand to better two pairs yet cost half a pot (the dreaded 3 pairs again)
9♣8♦ A♣K♦ Q♣Q♦Q♥ 9♦ Q♠ Full house counterfeited for full pot when board makes four of a kind

Borderline Counterfeiting

Hand Opp. Flop Turn River Description
A♣K♦ 9♣8♦ Q♥T♠T♣ Q♦ Q♣ As of the turn, the Ace kicker was beating the Nine kicker, but the boat on the river removed the kicker from the picture
9♣8♣ A♣K♦ J♣5♣2♣ Q♣ Lower suited hole cards needing only three of the suit on the board can lose to a fourth suited card on the turn or river
9♣8♦ A♣9♦ J♠8♥5♠ J♥ 9♠ The Nine on the turn didn’t counterfeit the 98 because it was still ahead then! The 98 then improved on the river but lost.
7♣7♦ K♦2♣ 9♥8♠7♥ 6♣ 5♦ The set of Sevens was ahead until the straight on the board chopped the pot on the river; a flush on the board is even less likely to be considered counterfeiting (could have been behind on the flop or turn)

Not Counterfeiting

Hand Opp. Flop Turn River Description
9♣8♦ J♥T♥ T♠9♥8♥ J♠ It’s not counterfeiting if an opponent’s hand simply improves to beat you (like a Heart, Queen, Jack, Ten, or Seven on the turn here)
7♣7♦ A♣K♦ K♥Q♠7♥ Q♦ K♣ A Queen on the river is more obviously counterfeiting, but a King is just a bad beat

[LL] “That’s a lot of counterfeiting!”

[SS] “And that’s not even counting my kitchen renovation…”

Footnotes:

  1. Original puzzle posed by Biotop on the Straight Dope message board on June 9, 2010.
  2. RFID is short for “radio frequency identification”, which in this case allows a reader to identify the value and location of every poker chip at the table.

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